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Stop Staring! They’re Just BOOBS!

Guys… And I do mean guys as in male – tell me, how long have men and women existed together on this planet? At some point if you’ve seen one pair you’ve seen them all (or so you’d think).

So I’m walking down the street with my mom. We were on Broadway and had just turned up 44th street on our way to 6th avenue (that’s Avenue of the America’s for the tourists) . We’re just walking and talking about nothing and then this guy walks in front of us and points to my chest and says “Those are nice”.

I’m not sure what I was suppose to do or say but I was in New York City so at first i gave him the serious ignore face and we walked on. Not satisfied with that – this guy runs up behind us, then stops in front of us again and says “Didn’t you hear me? I said those were nice!”

By now of course I’m looking for my virtual gun or at least one of my t-shirts, but I’m with my mom is the answer to “and I’m not killing you because…?

So guys, when you see me walking down the street – please… Stop staring, they’re just boobs… Granted – they’re bigguns but still…

You wanna know the truth about having big boobs?

  • They suck.
  • They’re not a blessing – if they were God would have given them to men because they seem to enjoy them a hell of a lot more than women.
  • I hate having to buy larger shirts to cover them.
  • My back hurts.
  • I can’t sleep on my stomach.
  • It’s hard to find a good bra.
  • That dweeb you see me with if he’s not holding my hand is probably not as lucky a guy as you think.
  • I really do have eyes. I’ve been told they’re a lovely shade of brown. They’re above my boobs. You can’t miss them.