You know your penis is small when…

…you unleashed upon the world, the crappiest operating system EVER in the history of man, that rivals the 2nd worse operating system that, um, you also created. Your operating system is SO bad that PC manufacturers are having trouble selling computers with said piece of crap on it and have to begin installing the previous OS. When your plan to pay a celebrity millions to endorse your OS backfires and your attempt to change the name (ala “new coke”) doesn’t work, you finally have to admit defeat and promise an operating system to end all operating systems (drum roll please) Windows 7.

Well October 22, 2009 is here and Kylie and her Happy Words are no where to be found. So this morning turned on my HP Pavillion DV6 that I’m using as a bedwarmer/grilled cheese maker and waited to see the happy words. They weren’t there, just the same old crappy Vista. I went to Windows update and it said it would update the Vista, but nothing about happy words. I went to Windows Update help and that took me to a link on HP. The HP link gives me the requirements to upgrade and another link to order the Windows 7 Upgrade Happy Word Kit! The Happy Word link leads to a Thank You page from HP for visiting their site and warns you that it’s taking you to another site and gives you a link to continue.

Now before you continue reading, glance at the title again. OK. Now you’re ready.

Pressing the “Continue to Check Status” link on HP’s website leads you to a Windows 7 Upgrade Options page, where I got this message…

Non IE page

  • You must use Internet Explorer as your browser to place order. If Internet Explorer is not your default browser, you can find it in your list of installed programs by clicking the Windows Vista START button.
  • If you don’t have access to Internet Explorer, please Contact Us.


I can’t fill out the form to replace the crappy operating system you forced onto my computer with what might only be a less crappier version of my current operating system unless I use YOUR crappy web browser???!!!!

REALLY???!!!! You can’t be serious.

Anyone else think it’s getting hot in here?