Related Posts

Share This

Where is my Big Gauge?

So I’m at work which means usually means I’m having a shitty day but this particular day was a super shitty day at the end of which I finally got this job done and I sent it to the printer but the it didn’t print. I checked the printer and it said it was out of paper. It runs out of paper all of the time now because it only has one working paper tray. We have another printer with 2 working trays, actually we use have two working printers but when we changed offices we ended up with one printer and as you guessed we got the one with only one working tray. Now there are like 10 of us printing 100 page documents to one printer so needless to say it runs out of paper about every 15 minutes. But I digress. Back to the empty paper tray…

So I go to refill the printer. There are 2 trays of paper next to the printer and a box of paper under the printer. I’m thinking – kool. I check the 1st tray. It has A4 paper. This is the US we use letter. I’d say we maybe use A4 3 times a year. The second paper tray has legal size paper. We NEVER use legal sized paper. The box on the floor has dot matrix printer paper in it. WE DON’T HAVE A DOT MATRIX PRINTER!

I asked where the letter paper is. It’s in the cabinet across the room. OK – fine. I walk across the room, try to open the cabinet door – it’s locked. So now I’m thinking letter sized printer paper must be pretty valuable and I ask… “um… are we having a problem with someone stealing letter sized paper?” “No. Why?” “The cabinet’s locked.” “Yeah, they thought that would be a good idea.”

At this point I wish you could see the look on my face. People often say to me – “You should see the look on your face.” But I’m thinking after reading a couple of these Rhondaisms, that maybe you can imagine it.

I get the key, unlock the cabinet, take out a ream of paper and fill the paper tray – on the outside, but on the inside, I pat myself down and look around and then say…

“Where is my big gauge and how long will it take you stupid fucks to line up against the wall???”