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At Any Given Moment…

So I’m working in this warehouse. It’s all guys except me and one other chick and the testosterone is flying around like tropical storm Hilda. These two guys are arguing about something stupid (aren’t they always) and I’m thinking damn, just whip ’em out already and we’ll have a contest and vote on who’s is bigger.

I try to go on about my business but they’re not letting up. After about an hour of this nonsense I’ve had about enough and walk over and say, “Just stop. Mine’s bigger”.

They stop arguing and look at each other and then at some other guys who just shrug. I walk away and finish working.

A week or two later it starts again and again I stop them by saying that mine is bigger. Finally someone has the balls to say “What’s bigger?” I answer “I thought this was a dick contest. You can put them away. Mine’s bigger.”

The look of shock on their faces was enough to stop them from uttering another word but one guy muttered under his breath, “I bet it is.”

It was that day that I realized that at any given moment, I have the biggest dick in the room. I would have to prove that one day in a drinking contest with one of the two guys, but I won that argument too. Of course I got alcohol poisoning and pretty much stopped drinking hard liquor after that but I won and in a big dick contest isn’t that all that really matters.